How to Stop Overthinking

From Tantra Is Not What You Think, by Daniel Penrose

You can't stop overthinking by arguing your way out of it, trying to fix a churning mind only stirs it more. Instead, set the problem down: stop reaching into the water, and let the mud settle on its own. The clarity comes when you stop chasing it.

Why fighting your thoughts makes them louder

Tell yourself not to think about a white bear and you will think of little else. The mind has a maddening rule: whatever you push against, you feed. So when you lie awake at 2 a.m. trying to force your mind to settle, you are doing the one thing guaranteed to keep it spinning. The effort to stop overthinking is itself a kind of overthinking.

This is why “just stop worrying” never works. You cannot bully a mind into stillness. But you can do something gentler and far more effective.

The glass of muddy water

Picture a glass of water with mud swirling through it. How do you make it clear? Not by reaching in and grabbing at the mud, that stirs it further. You clear it by setting it down and leaving it alone. The mud settles by itself. Stillness is the water's natural state; you only have to stop disturbing it.

Your mind works the same way. A clear mind is not something you manufacture by effort. It is what is left when you stop stirring. Overthinking is the hand that keeps reaching into the glass.

Set it down

The practice is almost embarrassingly simple, and it is the whole trick: when you catch yourself churning the same problem for the tenth time, silently say, I don't have to settle this right now. Then take your hand out of the water.

You are not solving the problem and you are not suppressing it. You are giving it permission to wait while the water clears. Real answers, when they come, tend to arrive in the settled water, not the stirred-up storm.

Try it now (about a minute)

• Name the loop you are stuck in: “I'm churning on ___.”
• Say to yourself: I don't have to settle this right now.
• Move your attention to something physical and present, your breath, your feet, the sounds in the room, and let the thought sit untouched behind you.
• When it grabs you again (it will), repeat. Each repetition is the practice, not a failure of it.

One honest note: an everyday churning mind responds well to this. If your thoughts are turning dark or relentless in a way that frightens you, that is not a failure of letting go — please reach out to a doctor or a professional. The free 7-day guide has more of these gentle moves, and the full approach is in the book Tantra Is Not What You Think.